Is Anyone Trying to Find Me?
by upperleadworth
Summary: Fifteen drabbles for fifteen characters. All of them have their own problems, their own identities, their own insecurities, and they can't seem to tell anyone. Everything is falling down.


_AN- It's still May second where I live, so a drabble collection on people who helped the war end fits, I think. I started this last night, and enjoyed it quite a bit. Enjoy, and I remember that I'm not JKR, obviously._

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**remus**

He sometimes hopes that the next time he says _I'm okay_ someone will say to him _I know you're not. Tell me what's wrong. _But it's fine. He doesn't care. He just thinks that people can be idiots, ignoring people when they say _I'm okay._ They always know that when someone says it, they aren't. People are idiots. He's known that forever. That makes him an idiot, or does it? He isn't human. He's a monster. That makes him even more of an idiot, he guesses. Monsters are less intelligent, everyone says so. But everyone also says that they're okay.

**peter**

Peter is many things, but he is not unintelligent. He knows a lot, he just doesn't know how to put it into words without sounding like an idiot. He just doesn't talk much, and when he does, it usually sounds stupid. He's quiet for other reasons- he's lost people, and himself with them. But mostly, he's quiet to avoid bad situations. He's missing pieces of him, maybe that's why. His sister was a piece of him. His sister, in all her forever-ten-year-old perfection. But no matter what, he'll never get the words out. It just isn't what he's meant for.

**sirius**

He is different. Contrasting. Clashing. Fire to their ice. Still, he is alike. They aren't ice, they're fire too. And he looks like them. But that's it, isn't it? Isn't it? He's not his family. Sirius is not his family. His family is evil, and Sirius is the opposite. True, he may be cruel from time to time, but he is not evil. He will never be evil. He swears that to himself every single night. It's insane-sounding, but it helps him. He is not the bad guy. He is Sirius Black, goddamnit! Not them. (He's still their family, right?)

**james**

He hates her, and then he loves her. He'd throw her off a cliff and then catch her at the bottom. It's a rush called love, but hell, what is that? He doesn't understand it, no one does. It's strange for him. He thinks he's absolutely insane for falling for a girl, especially one who he thinks he hates. (That's a lie.) He wants to be normal, to be considered cool, to be powerful, but this barrier, this perfect, beautiful, god-awful annoying barrier named Lily is getting in his way. But he doesn't care anymore. James was in love now.

**lily**

There she is, all perfect and smart and- how the hell can someone be so amazing?

That's what most thought of her. Perfect Lily Evans, loved by everyone. She heard the whispers, though. _Mudblood_ and _bitch _and _slag. _She ignored it. She didn't have to have everyone on her side, and she knew those were just words, they couldn't hurt her. Could they?

That would explain a lot, words hurting her- but wasn't she invincible? People think she is. She can just throw an insult into the bin, can't she? She isn't all that. She is Lily. Just plain Lily.

**severus**

He doesn't know why he was so attached to Lily Evans. She was a Mudblood, (a perfect little Mudblood with the prettiest eyes, the nicest personality,) why didn't he get rid of her sooner? The other Death Eaters in training mocked him for it. (Maybe it was love that kept him with her? No. It couldn't be. It wasn't allowed.) He sees her and her friends every bloody day and feels jealous, and when he first sees her with Potter he realizes that it was love that he felt. Severus Snape was the epitome of impossibility, and he hated it.

**regulus**

Regulus was a very odd boy. He didn't understand a lot of things. He didn't understand how Purebloods were better than anybody, but he went along with it because everybody told him to, except Sirius. Surprisingly, he forgives Sirius. Sirius was thinking something, fighting for his cause, whereas Regulus was just going along with what he's heard. Regulus isn't brave. Regulus will do what he's told, it has to be right. Anyways, everyone's right sometimes, so if he's doing what people tell him to do, won't he do things right? Regulus needs to be right. It proves he's done something.

**frank**

He is Frank Longbottom, and nobody else is Frank Longbottom, and Frank Longbottom can't do anything wrong. That's how he was raised. Do no wrong, and everything will be alright. The world rests on his shoulders. He is perfect. He's had that drilled into his head by his mother for as long as he can remember. He doesn't think he's all that. He can't be. He wants to be human, not some fantasy hero. Frank wants to be Frank, but he can't, or he'll be not-Frank. And if not being yourself makes you yourself, then so be it. He's perfect.

**alice**

Alice has never been anything more than a laughingstock. She's clumsy, forgetful, and naïve, and people baby her, treat her like she's an idiot. She's not naïve. She just uses it to hide herself from the big, bad world. The world is a cruel place, and she knows it. Just hide behind idiocy and you'll never be hurt, that's her strategy. Alice thinks every move out; she's two steps ahead of the game. Not that anyone knows. They all, even her so-called friends, pity her, laugh at her, and call her names. But she doesn't even know who she is.

**andromeda**

Andromeda never hated her family, more their ideals. Still, she was in Slytherin for a reason other than family. She was determined to break the ideals, and she succeeded. Falling in love was an experiment to her, an experiment that didn't go as plan- at first, she and Ted were just faking it. Andi was cunning enough to slowly escape her family without them noticing until they heard she was with a Muggleborn. Andromeda Black was not lacking in Slytherin characteristics, despite what people may think. Everything happens for a reason, Andromeda proves that. It's herself that's unsure about it.

**bellatrix**

Bella is in it for the same reason Andi isn't, at least that's what she thinks. _Love._ Bella's in love with the Dark Lord. She and Andi are one and the same, no matter how much it pains Bella to think that. Bella is like a blood traitor, who would have thought? She hates this so bloody much, being like her sister. She is _pure!_ Her sister is _filth! _How can they be anything alike? Bella hates that she's fighting this, now. It's so stupid, but she can't stop herself. This is just stupid lust, isn't it? Bella hopes so.

**narcissa**

Narcissa, like her sisters, does everything for love. Family love, though. She doesn't like Lucius's choices, but she loves him, her amazing husband. She wishes that this whole (pointless) war would just end so she could live her perfect life in peace. Her life has to be perfect. Needs to be. But this war is in her way. She's going to stop it someday, she just knows it. Then, her life will be perfect and everything will be perfect and she will be perfect and they all live happily ever after like in fairy tales. She had always liked those.

**molly**

Molly only worries so much because she knows that something bad will happen and wants to delay it as much as possible. She only loses it so much because if everything is orderly, she can delay it even more. She needs everything to be okay, and she will do everything she can to make that happen. It's a habit, making sure everything's alright, but everyone's become accustomed to it by now. But when Gideon and Fabian die, she knows that she couldn't delay it. She'll still try though. It's a habit she'll never let go of. It's what makes Molly.

**arthur**

Arthur is different, and he's fine with that. Muggles are so interesting, they can create magic without magic, and he likes that. He doesn't care if people think he's mad- he's heard all the rumors, alright. He can shrug them off. He can ignore all of those people who think they're better just because they have more magic than Muggles, because he knows that they're wrong. Muggles are genius, they can live without magic somehow, and that creates its own magic. Arthur is so interested in that, that he doesn't care what people think. He's always been like this, always.

**lucius**

Lucius is really, truly, a caring person. He loves his family, his friends, and his power. It's all good, except that some people still think that he's evil. He isn't. He just saw the Death Eaters as a way to get more power, nothing more. His power is important to him. Lucius sees power as a way to show people that you are better than them, and that creates a social status, which is very important. Every choice he makes is for himself and his family, and he is dismisses a just "evil." Lucius doesn't think that's fair at all.

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_Final notes- Frank was easiest to write. I don't know why. Please review :)!_

_~Blue_


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